Have you ever found it hard to enjoy yourself? No, not like having a good time at a party or having a blast at a concert. I mean really enjoying doing something you are really good at, and being confident about it?

Well, it may not be all that hard for you but somehow along my journey I picked up the notion that being great at something, exhibiting confidence, and experiencing sheer joy while doing it, is being prideful. Deeply etched somewhere inside of my soul was the belief that if I exhibited greatness in any capacity, I would be stealing God's glory. When someone gave me a compliment, I would hide behind the phrases, "It's all about Jesus", "praise God"! As if God were standing over my shoulder watching me with squinted eyes, like security, making sure I didn't steal His glory. However these days I am wading deeper into the river of freedom, and allowing it to carry me. I am really starting to believe that God wants me to let my light to shine and to do so unashamedly. Never have the words of Marianne Williamson rang truer,

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

As I sit pondering this on my porch, I can hear Jesus ecstatically saying to me, "Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven." (Matt. 5:16 NRSV)